Why Your Automotive Subculture Sucks: "Save the manuals!" crowd

"Spanfeller is a twat" (theaspiringengineer)
06/18/2019 at 15:55 • Filed to: None

Your subculture : Being the annoying twats in forums saying that every single car on sale must be manual/ being the annoying twats in forums saying they’re crying over a brand dropping them.

Your background : A 17 year old whose sole prior submersion into car culture has been watching Top Gear clips on Youtube because buying shit is for idiots. An angry early gen exer who doesn’t understand how OBDII works, or a hardcore track day aficionado who doesn’t understand how speed limits work.

none of these demographics can afford any of the cars they complain about... They probably daily a hatchback.

Now that your anger has been opened up to the internet, you need to express your unique take on the stupid, authoritarian automotive industry because it is YOUR RIGHT AS A CITIZEN OF THE INTERNET to show absolute RAGE that the new BMW 3 series only has a low powered engine mated to a manual box.

The car: Suddenly, after three years of belonging to this group you finally get a big bonus at your mildly successful job, so you chose to buy the only car a manual elitist could possibly buy: A Mazda MX5.

But when you get to the dealer you realize those little ND shits are tiny! and you freak out because deep down you’re scared of the changing world and soccer moms in two ton SUVs that might murder you in a used NA miata.

So you buy a Civic Sport, in a dealer 50 miles from where you live because no one has the manual in stock. Telling yourself you didn’t spring for the Si because you don’t need the extra power, as the manual box takes back dozens of horsepower from the hated CVT.

What’s new that sucks: Fuel economy, the fact that you never actually learned how to drive a manual properly and you burned half of the clutch in the first 1k miles and now the car stalls in parking lots. Unless you bought a Porsche you just sank your resale value.

What has always sucked: you live in Los Angeles, idiot. Your office isn’t on Mulholland Drive, asshat. Welcome to traffic in I-405!

Why your subculture sucks: You feel better than everyone else for willing to live with a worse car everyday for the half an hour every year it’s going to be fun. You want car culture to be exclusive, and you think you’re a mechanic, and that you’re going to teach your kids how to drive stick, but deep down you know buying a manual Civic was a mistake from which you won’t recover financially. So you take your resentment out on people who are excited about new, more powerful, more fuel efficient, faster cars.

HEAR IT FROM MANUAL ELITISTS!

“Meh, I don’t care about the Supra because of the automatic, I’ll buy it used in seven years”

“Some cars do have better fuel economy with manuals!”

“The last manual M5 is going to SKYROCKEEEET in value. Stupid bring a trailer, now I won’t be able to buy it in seven years. ”

“My leg doesn’t even get sore from the traffic”

“The Genesis G70 needs the 3.3T with a manual! The 2.0 is too underpowered!”

“I could beat you cus I have a manual and I know how to launch!”

“Every enthusiast who drives an automatic isn’t actually interested in cars, and they don’t deserve all of the attention!”

“Why do you even need ten gears?”

“if we lived in Europe you wouldn’t be able to get a license!”

“iT’s A sAfEtY fEaTuRe HUR HUR HUR HUR... you get it right? because its manual and thieves are dumb? you get it right? right? IT’S SO HILARIOUS IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME, let me look it up, you’ll get it then!”

DISCUSSION (83)

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 16:02

Relevant

Kinja'd!!!

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 16:03

Bra-fucking-vo!

Kinja'd!!!

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 16:04

Everyone else bought a Z06 with a automatic in it. My hot hatch daily is a manual too. But I’m excited about meeting up with other manual drivers in my neck of the US!

Hey, how come it’s only me today?

CobraJoe > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 16:07

Know what’s worse than a manual elitist?

An automatic elitist.

Spanfeller is a twat > CobraJoe
06/18/2019 at 16:07

R
I
P

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 16:07

I’m a late Xer, thankyouverymuch.

Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 16:09

Kinja'd!!!

E90M3 > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 16:09

While I know this was done in jest and is pure sarcasm, I didn’t end up loving my 128i because it was an auto.

TheRealBicycleBuck > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely
06/18/2019 at 16:09

Which neck of the U.S. is yours?

My current rental is an auto, but I have two manuals parked in the driveway! I’ll have to run home before the meetup.

Under_Score > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time
06/18/2019 at 16:11

Kinja'd!!!

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely
06/18/2019 at 16:11

[sits down on the stoop , opens a beer for you, then one for me, takes a long drink as we just stare off into the distance]

MonkeePuzzle > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 16:11

What has always sucked: you live in Los Angeles, idiot. Your office isn’t on Mulholland Drive, asshat. Welcome to traffic in I-405!

yup, why I have a 3 gutless 3 speed auto. My commute USED to be to a remote area where we had a satellite teleport, with the increase in bandwidth and so on and so forth, working at the actual teleport makes no sense, so we now work in a built up highly populate area. so instead of occasionally hitting triple digits on backroads for giggles during my middle of the night commute, I now drive ~35mph for 45 minutes.

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > Under_Score
06/18/2019 at 16:12

¯\_()_/¯

Better than 9Gag?

Spanfeller is a twat > E90M3
06/18/2019 at 16:12

I can respect that

412GTI > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 16:14

Not wrong in the slightest.

- signed a former manual owner now with a DSG

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > TheRealBicycleBuck
06/18/2019 at 16:15

Phoenix. My sister traded her aging Fit Manual for a CVT Crosstrek and is loving it.

Friend of mine traded in his Volvo S60R for a Lincoln Navigator, other friend moved to Oregon and sold his STI and didn’t replace it. Another buddy tried to sell h i s ‘15 Camaro ZL1 but eventually changed his mind, but that won’t last forever. Another friend had medical issues and a 3rd pedal was out of the question at that point . That just leaves the last holdout friend who’s thinking of trading in his manual WRX and getting a 440 M-sport while they’re still available with stick.

There’s no one else left who wants to press that left pedal anymore.

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
06/18/2019 at 16:17

It’s kind of nice to be obviously not connected with the millenial crowd at least

Under_Score > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 16:18

People really think they’re on to something because their shifter has some numbers and the letter “R” on top of it. Like no, your car isn’t special, it’s just depreciating because no one else wanted it.

SPAMBot - Horse Doctor > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 16:18

Your gated manual has cheater gates? Pffft. You must suck at driving. Real Car Guys (TM) do not need the gates angled to make shifting easier. ;)

Kinja'd!!!

* Note the simple radius compared to the Audi’s

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > E90M3
06/18/2019 at 16:19

My IS-F is gone for predominantly the same reason.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 16:19

I drive a manual because honestly I don’t know how an automatic works.

CobraJoe > E90M3
06/18/2019 at 16:19

Every single auto car I’ve ever owned, I dreamed (and sometimes researched) about manual swapping it.*

*One exception: a ‘77 Cougar that was basically a couch on wheels, I was perfectly fine with the slow shifting C4. Th ough that is also the one vehicle that I have actually helped to swap in a manual. (W e’re running a ‘79 Cougar as a Gambler 500 car with a 5 speed from an F250.)

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely
06/18/2019 at 16:22

I have four cars now and they are all manual. My Z is so manual it has manual choke, manual windows and manual locks. You could run it without a battery as long as it made enough jui ce to spark.

BeaterGT > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever
06/18/2019 at 16:22

It’s amazing how many heads this joke flies over.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely
06/18/2019 at 16:23

I’m happy to be part of the Oregon Trail Sub-G en .

Shift24 > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 16:23

While I get the point and it’s all in fun. A nother reason I prefer manuals is reliability

We have had multiple 3 00k accords, both manuals. We have also had an accord puke its auto at 120k. Granted it was t he bad years for Honda but the point is if you treat a manual right you may never need it replaced.

I know there are bad manuals out there but you actively h ave to try to find them.

Granted this statement is void if you only plan on keeping the car until 5 0k or the warranty expires. But for those who dont want a car payment manual can be a great option.

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > BeaterGT
06/18/2019 at 16:24

This shit needs more stars

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > TheRealBicycleBuck
06/18/2019 at 16:25

#TwoManualsClub

Spanfeller is a twat > Under_Score
06/18/2019 at 16:25

having numbers and an R is synonym of having a big dick you know.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever
06/18/2019 at 16:26

So, so manual. I don’t get the same enjoyment from the windows & locks.

TheRealBicycleBuck > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely
06/18/2019 at 16:26

#dyingbreed

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo
06/18/2019 at 16:27

Perfect.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
06/18/2019 at 16:27

Neither my Z nor my Isuzu have intermittent wipers! You have to bump them every 5 seconds. So irritating.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever
06/18/2019 at 16:29

Amazing the little things you take for granted.

Maybe try Rain- X?

Satoshi "Zipang" Katsura > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 16:30

I know that it’s a satire post but fucking hell, the writing is below subpar.

ihm96 > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 16:44

Seems like a lot of weird resentment here with some awful straw man arguments.

Especially the point about it being a worse car except for half an hour a year, it’s not my fault you have an awful commute. I find it to actually be the opposite, my car would only be better as an automatic for the very rare occasion I get stuck in a traffic jam, but usually my commute is free and clear with nice windy roads. When i did have an automatic I got bored as hell.

Even my 60 year old mom got bored of her newest (and first ever automatic Mini) Cooper S and traded it in maybe 6 months later. She had never had one for less than 4 years before that.

Jonee > Under_Score
06/18/2019 at 16:45

People who like to drive want it. So, yes, it is special.

Jonee > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 16:46

I’m in my 40's, live and commute in L.A., can afford a new car, and I hate automatic transmissions. So, there. Manuals are better.

Spanfeller is a twat > ihm96
06/18/2019 at 16:50

Satire

feather-throttle-not-hair > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 16:52

I’m way classier than that. These are not things i’ve ever said, or dreamed of saying.

Nope.

This is a list of lies i tell myself in my own head.

So there.

“Meh, I don’t care about the Supra because of the automatic, I’ll buy it used in seven years”

“Some cars do have better fuel economy with manuals!”

“The last manual M5 is going to SKYROCKEEEET in value. Stupid bring a trailer, now I won’t be able to buy it in seven years. ”

“My leg doesn’t even get sore from the traffic”

“The Genesis G70 needs the 3.3T with a manual! The 2.0 is too underpowered!”

“I could beat you cus I have a manual and I know how to launch!”

“Every enthusiast who drives an automatic isn’t actually interested in cars, and they don’t deserve all of the attention!”

“Why do you even need ten gears?”

“if we lived in Europe you wouldn’t be able to get a license!”

Svend > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 16:53

I don’t get annoyed by one singular subculture the most.

Most of them annoy me like:

‘FWD is wrong wheel drive, RWD is best’,

‘Manuals or nothing’ (yet many drive autos out of convenience),

‘Why should I have to drive the speed limit, I’m a safe driver/you can safely drive xxmph on that road’,

‘Nobody should drive xx brand of car because I had one and it was unreliable/heard they are unreliable’,

‘That car has less than 300bhp, I wouldn't feel safe driving a car so low powered' (on my 35mph stop/start commute to work).

Mercedes Streeter > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 16:54

Well, Trump did get a massive amount of electoral votes and he is an R...

Mercedes Streeter > Svend
06/18/2019 at 16:58

‘That car has less than 300bhp, I wouldn’t feel safe driving a car so low powered’ (on my 35mph stop/start commute to work).

Ugh, this one grinds my gears so much because that’s one of the top excuses I get for why people don’t like the smart fortwo. “That’s not enough power to get on the highway with.”

Seriously? I can do top speed while towing a trailer. If 70bhp in a car that weighs less than a ton is dangerous, I’m afraid you’re the problem, not the car. lol

DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish! > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 17:04

Counterpoint

I don’t give a shit what transmission you drive as long as you enjoy the car.

Pich, with Z32 now featuring Civic [Si] / No > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 17:04

I’m sorry you’re salty the Stinger is auto only

Kinja'd!!!

Dusty Ventures > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time
06/18/2019 at 17:09

I think he means because iFunny always takes other peoples stuff then throws their own watermark on it like they own it

Jordan > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 17:13

I know its satire, and I know there are some people like the people you described, but a manual goes a long way in making the car feel more enjoyable. Case in point: The handling of the latest 3 Series is pretty much identical to the F30, and both have slightly numb steering . But a manual F30 is much more fun than the new 3 Series.

StudyStudyStudy > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 17:13

Oof some of those points hit too close to home, well done sir.

Svend > Mercedes Streeter
06/18/2019 at 17:16

Ye’, it really bugs me.

My 1,550Kg Skoda Superb is 148bhp, 1.5TSi. I’ve never wanted for power.

Yep, some bang on about more power, etc...

Big X of Boulder > CobraJoe
06/18/2019 at 17:19

Know what’s worse th an an automatic elitist? An automatic elitist who has never driven a vehicle with manual transmission. Hmmm... come to think of it, that just might be the majority of automatic drivers these days. Never mind....

aquila121 > Mercedes Streeter
06/18/2019 at 17:20

He still lost the popular vote by millions. I say this because it would make him angry--most truth is like that, for him.

Spanfeller is a twat > Jordan
06/18/2019 at 17:25

it’s ok.

for Michigan > E90M3
06/18/2019 at 17:25

Same. Mine’ s getting swapped for a manual wagon or hatch a soon as I can find one that fits the rest of my absurdly particular criteria.

Future Heap Owner > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 17:25

I think you did a pretty good job, especially because a lot of people seem pretty angry about this.

Spanfeller is a twat > Future Heap Owner
06/18/2019 at 17:30

Isn’t that the whole point if the internet?

AestheticsInMotion > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 17:30

The other two were good because they were satire .

This just sounds ANGERY

Spanfeller is a twat > AestheticsInMotion
06/18/2019 at 17:31

You know it must be satire. If anyone here likes compact convertibles and miatas its me

AestheticsInMotion > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 17:34

I want to be a manual hipster.

“Miatas? Pffft. No driver engagement. Too bloated. Real men drive OG British roadsters. ”

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 17:45

Of note, I find it funny how people think manuals in LA traffic would be terrible or something. Just because there is traffic doesnt automatically (no pun intended) make manuals a pain. Traffic with hills most certainly is a pain, but there are not a whole lot of hills where traffic would be in LA. Freeways are pretty flat and they arent usually stop and go traffic. Its more like a constant crawl at 5mph. Leaving the car in first gear and just puttering along is actually easy with a manual anyways. Not really related to the post but just a thought I had lol.

Spanfeller is a twat > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
06/18/2019 at 17:46

What does “reposting” mean on notifications? Did you share this to another blog? or just scheduled a share in the future on Oppo?

Spanfeller is a twat > Wrong Wheel Drive (41%)
06/18/2019 at 17:48

I knew you’d find a more local take on the specific part about SoCal.

I guess LA is a bad example, perhaps San Francisco?

feather-throttle-not-hair > AestheticsInMotion
06/18/2019 at 18:08

Get a Caterham.

“oh man...i can’t imagine driving a *gasp* miata and having pull around like 900 extra lbs of creature comforts. what a soft car for softcore people! ”

ZHP Sparky, the 5th > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 18:11

Can confirm, lived in San Francisco with 2 manual cars. It’s a pain to have to crawl up to stop signs in bumper to bumper traffic on a crazy inclined hill. Especially when other idiots just ride your ass and don’t give you any space to roll backwards without crashing in to them.

But the glory of cruising through the city when there’s no traffic perfectly executing your gear changes and hearing your exhaust bouncing off the buildings around you – pure bliss!

Under_Score > Dusty Ventures
06/18/2019 at 18:15

Also, a lot of the stuff is basic. At the same time, my sense of humor is a video of an Xbox executive saying “Gaming” and everyone cheers.

feather-throttle-not-hair > Svend
06/18/2019 at 18:15

Honestly, these are all representative of things I believe in principle.

But in practice, in the real world, there are just too many exceptions for any sort of hard line to make sense in my head.

For instance, FWD is wrong wheel drive to me. RWD is best. But would i trade a proverbial kidney for an Integra Type R? Yes. Yes i would. Because no car is perfect. Theoretically a RWD ITR would be better, but in the real world the FWD car exists and is REALLY REALLY REALLY effin good, despite the FWD.

FWD will never be a thing I want. But I could also get over it for a good enough car, of which there are many.

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > ZHP Sparky, the 5th
06/18/2019 at 18:16

Yup, SF is definitely a good example of this. Those hills are no fucking joke. I had rented a manual mini cooper with an ehhhh clutch and really bald front tires (among other issues, yay turo!). It was a major hassle to drive in SF, I actually had completely given up on traffic on one occasion and made a u-turn so that I wouldnt suffer through a hill from hell in nonmoving traffic to a stop sign. It was actually worse because it had hill assist but it was so unpredictable that it caused me to stall the car more frequently.

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 18:18

Its not that its a bad example. People definitely express that opinion that live and commute in LA. I have met people who I tell that I own two manual cars as my only vehicles and they gasp with horror at the thought of it. Granted I dont actually commute through LA traffic so maybe I dont really know the pain. My “traffic” is someone going 30 in a 45 with nobody else on the road because they are afraid of turns.

Future next gen S2000 owner > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 18:29

My last two auto purchases were truck with a manual and an honest to god wagon because it was a wagon. Both new. Fight me.

Also, they suck compared to my bike wh ic h is currently broken and in the shop. But when it gets out, it is glorious.

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
06/18/2019 at 18:31

Is the ball off centre or are the numbers intentionally canted towards the driver?

Oh, and you don’t drive stick unless you have a dogleg!!

Spanfeller is a twat > Future next gen S2000 owner
06/18/2019 at 18:43

I...i don’t want to. Satirical post, bruv

SPAMBot - Horse Doctor > Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever
06/18/2019 at 19:20

The stick is straight (car is in first) unlike the TR(?). The ball is rotated a bit but I think the angle plus being in first makes it look extreme than normal. I will have to take a direct overhead neutral pic.

E90M3 > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely
06/18/2019 at 19:25

I quite like all of the V8 four door sedans that came out circa 2008; M3, C63, RS4, IS-F, but I really wanted a manual and the M3 was really the only option. Yes the RS-4 is manual only, but good luck finding one and have fun maintaining it.

SPAMBot - Horse Doctor > Wrong Wheel Drive (41%)
06/18/2019 at 19:27

A manual sucks when you are driving to Dodger stadium for a game. And maybe if I had to commute near the 101/110 interchange or the 30 miles on the 91 and 605. Other than an extreme case like that, it isn’t tooo bad. Yeah, there are days I where an auto would be nice, but there are days when I’m happy to have a stick. I have a pretty easy commute at the moment, though.

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
06/18/2019 at 19:28

Yeah you are almost in bicyling distance lol. Wonder if you could ride one of those byrd things, would be an entertaining commuter vehicle.

SPAMBot - Horse Doctor > Wrong Wheel Drive (41%)
06/18/2019 at 19:44

If this road didn’t have this part missing, it would be a pretty decent bike ride. But the road to the north and south would suck for a bike and it would add a considerable distance. I’ve thought about it many times lol.

Kinja'd!!!

I rode a razor branded e-scooter in P ortland this weekend. It was closer to a bike, with a seat. That thing was a lot of fun. It could burn out, huck off any curb, and do a rear tire skid pretty easily.

wafflesnfalafel > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 21:46

Agree - it’s not for everybody. You gotta really want it.

Future next gen S2000 owner > Spanfeller is a twat
06/18/2019 at 21:49

Satirical reply.......

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Spanfeller is a twat
06/19/2019 at 08:32

OppoBlog is a continuation of the old “Best of OPPO”.

Only OPPO content, but only the cream of the crop, curated by a few of us here.

https://oppositeblog.kinja.com/

Spanfeller is a twat > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
06/19/2019 at 09:16

Oh thanks! Its been a while since I’ve been shared to oppoblog

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Spanfeller is a twat
06/19/2019 at 09:30

Sure thing - i t was a fun read, even though you squarely targeted my subculture - ha!